The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield, is a spiritual fiction book, and I must say, the teachings are quite interesting. In the story, several insights are revealed. He talks quite a bit about our energy. You can think of it like a psychic energy that we both give and receive.
In the Fourth Insight, Redfield describes how people want to feel energetically strong. One way they can do this (not the healthy way) is to control other people. Unfortunately, this is at the expense of others.
Almost all of us do this in an unconscious manner. We feel the need to compete for energy, and therefore power. But once you understand your “default manner,” or “control drama,” or way of controlling others, you can begin to transcend and learn how not to use these dramas to steal others’ energy. And you will be able to receive your energy from another source. (We won’t get into all that now, but get the book.)
So, the story explains four ways people control one another and steal each other’s energy. You can do this either aggressively or passively; either way, it is your way of trying to control and steal energy. Look at the list and figure out which one is you, or your default way of controlling. (Yes, we all do this, so at least one will apply.)
Intimidator – When someone is verbally or physically intimidating you, it forces you to give them your attention/energy.
Interrogator – Finding fault and slowly undermining you.
Aloof – Withdrawn and withholding.
Poor Me – They complain and tell you everything that is wrong in their lives.
Once we are aware of our drama, we can go forward and choose to act differently.
(My control drama is “Aloof.” I am working to give and share more.)
The reason for this side note is because we discussed complainers in the book. If you are a complainer, be aware that this is your way of trying to control others and stealing their energy. So stop doing the “Poor me,” unscribble your problem, and empower yourself without stealing energy from others.
If you are listening to a complainer… well, we also talk about that in the book. 😉
Takeaway: Knowing your default control drama will help you to transcend the behavior. It will help you to transcend complaining.